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Cathy CONNECTICUT East Haven CT 05/12/08 Dear Marilyn, Thank you for this website. I feel so much better after reading how others have been helped through group contact. I have decided to make 5/3/08 my last Casino visit. I refuse to finance the casinos any longer. I plant to continue to attend counseling and will begin GA this week. I am fully committed, and will keep you and others updated. I am turning this over to a higher power, at last. Cathy

Deb ARIZONA Arizona jhtfjm44pat@cox.net 05/10/08 I just came back from the Casino where I lost every penny I have. I don't understand why I can't stop this insanity...I am so depressed. I stumbled on this website and have read most of the emails. Please help me...
Toni ARIZONA Phoenix, Arizona 05/09/08 I placed my last bet on 02-24-08 and I attended my first GA meeting on 05/01/08. I am 52 yrs old and have gambled for 27 years of my life, I have attended several GA meetings here in town and had the pleasure of meeting Marilyn Lancelot and I have to say that she is one inspiring LADY. Marilyn handed me a copy of her book several weeks ago and once I started reading it I could not put it down, I stayed up all night after the meeting reading the book and shed many tears. Today I could not attend the GA meeting this evening and I sit here now trying to think of a reason as to why I couldn't attend and my only true reason is because I don't connect well with large groups of people and I just don't feel that I fit in with this group. Friday nights and Saturdays are the hardest for me so I felt that if I could attend GA meetings on those 2 days it would keep me out of the casinos, but I sit here now and even though it has been over 60 days since I placed my last bet !
I can honestly say that the urge to go is still there. I have never utilized the phone list because I just don't feel that I should burden someone else with my thoughts, fears or my problems. Maybe I should have forced myself to go to the meeting this evening. So instead I pulled out the card with the information to this site that also was given to me by Marilyn and read everyone's input and I do have to say that after reading the comments posted and also with the help from my higher power I did not give in to the old urges of wanting to escape into old habits. So I have to give my thanks to God for giving me the courage to fight the urge to gamble today and I also need to thank Marilyn for providing me with a little card that held the the information to this site. One day at a time and with that I'll be back. Thanks for listening.

Tiffany ARIZONA Arizona 05/04/08 I'm pretty new at attending GA meetings so the days and nights get a little long between them. This website has been great for me because when I'm feeling alone and the urge to go gamble I come right to this website. Thank u

Michigan MICHIGAN 04/30/08 ljlomas@yahoo.com Lisa To Marilyn, my sister, my counselor, my higher power and GA. I have not gambled since 3-14-08. Just 47 days ago I hit bottom (rock bottom). I just want to encourage all of you: don't give up. You can rediscover who your really are!!!! Give GA a chance. Help is out there. P.S. The little Blue Book "A Day at a Time" is a necessity...I love being able to read a passage every day.
P.S.S. Thank you, Marilyn. Your book gave me tiny roots to grab onto when I felt there was no way out of my gambling frenzy.

Lisa

Cindy CALIFORNIA
Yuba city, CA
cindyo7@comcast.net
04/27/08

If you have an email list, that you send things to, please put me on it.

Thanks, Cindy

Rose N. ARIZONA
Sun City, AZ
4/23/2008

maandpanorth@cox.net

Hi, "I'm Rose, a compulsive gamble" in recovery who often sits down and reads Marilyn's webpage. My heart goes out to those of you who are still struggling and having relapses. But, you need to remember, "Rome wasn't built in a day!" So PICK YOURSELF UP, BRUSH YOURSELF OFF AND START ALL OVER AGAIN! But this time, try a LITTLE HARDER and it just might work! Remember, try to work as the program teaches, ONE DAY AT A TIME.

Suggestion, if you don't have the little blue book, as I call it: "A Day At A Time" spend the $10 or $12 and buy it. The book has 365 days including February 30th of great, wonderful and inspiring reading that will help you through each day!

Love, Rose

Kingman AZ ARIZONA
04/20/08
joyspurling@hotmail.com

Just fresh (4 months without gambling) and am somewhat frightened about my staying power.

Jennings, LA LOUSIANA

Hi,
I am so glad to have found this site! It is true that someone who does not have this disease cannot understand why we don't just STOP.

I am sitting at this computer today with my stomach in knots once again because I have gambled money I do not have. I went to a GA meeting almost a year ago. I did not gamble for 5 1/2 months and things were getting better. Now they are worse than the firs time I went to GA.

I started out like some of you, slowly. I can't even remember when I actually started gambling. All I know is that I thought that I could control the impulses without help. I now know that I cannot. All it took was one time back at the Casino and I am at it again full speed.

I have been at my job for over 30 years and now have a second job which is not helping because I gamble everything I make on the second job and then some. My account is overdrawn and I wrote a check today knowing that the money is not in my account for the check. I am so afraid of what is going to happen. When I read the story about how one person felt about themselves I started crying. I too used to think of myself with a little respect. I now have no respect for myself and have lost the respect of most of my family and friends.

I will be returning to a meeting tomorrow night ( I live in a rural area and there is one weekly meeting in a town 35 miles from my home) but this does not help the panic and frustration that I am feeling at this moment.

I think about my bank account and the bills that are due and I start to panic. I have a son who depends on me and I have let him down so many times that I am ashamed to tell him that I DID IT AGAIN.

Please pray for me and all of those who are just beginning again!

*A note to the gal who sent this e-mail. You didn't tell me your name or give me your e-mail address. I have information that may help you in your recovery and if you send me your e-mail address, I will forward it to you.

Sincerely,

Marilyn

CanuckGal CANADA CANADA
4-10-08 cokechick@mail.com Finally! A place I can tell my story where people will understand. I used to go to casinos maybe twice a year. Sometimes with my mom, sometimes as a group trip with my work. Usually I would take about $60, the most I would ever spend was $200. I would feel down after losing it which I always did, but the feeling was gone the next day. More of a "well that's a bummer, but no biggie". I am a 35 year old woman. Last fall I discovered online casinos. What a big mistake for me. I didn't play too much at first and I actually got into a good winning streak. I may have been up about $3000 at one point. But then the rush would hit and I would think I could take that and make more. Don't know why I had to be so greedy. Should have been happy with what I had. Within the last month or so it's gotten out of hand. I'd lose a little and a little more and then of course try to win it back by losing even more. I have never been much of a saver, liking to travel and spend, but I had actually accumulated about $4000 in a savings account. Well when I started losing, I ended up taking that out and putting it on my credit card so I could pay it down and not pay the interest. Last weekend I got into a mode where I don't even think I realized what I was doing and how much I was spending and ended up losing another $4000. In one night. I cried that night and felt so guilty and mad at myself for letting it get that far. I felt miserable for the next few days. Then yesterday I sat down and made myself a budget. So as it stands, I have no money in my once 'good start' account and I am in debt $4500. I actually make fairly decent money so by controlling my spending I can actually get that debt cleared in 8 more weeks. Then I can start building up that savings again. If I stick to my good saving, I can have $9000 in my savings by November. Tonight I had a slight relapse and dropped $500. Just to try and lessen my losing margin, which of course didn't work. I vow that's the last of it! Which is why I came and found you guys. I haven't told anyone else. I'm ashamed. My best friend knows it's hard for me to save and she was so proud of me for my savings of $4000 which of course is gone. I can't stand to think of her being disappointed in me. I'm disappointed enough in myself. I figure I may tell her at the end of this year when I can say "I had a problem but I fixed it myself!". I will always mourn the loss of the 7 grand or so I've lost the last few months and I dream about how much happier I would be to have all that money in my savings account. But the truth is, it's gone and it's not coming back. No matter how many times I want to try and win it back, I won't! I have 2 trips to the casino in the next few weeks. One with mom for a show and one with work. I have decided not to take any money! No credit card, no bank cards. I won't get the urge if it's physically impossible for me to follow through. I'll take my book and sit outside and be happy that I'm not letting it win. I am stronger than that. Thanks for listening. If anyone needs a little mail pal I'd be happy to have a coach!
Brenda CANADA Calgary, Alberta, Canada 4-09-08
blrossp@yahoo.com I am very glad to have found this web-site. I have been addicted to slots and vlts for about 20 years now. I hit another bottom about 5 days ago. I am reading as much as I can on this heart breaking illness. I have now got a sponsor in Gamblers Anonymous. I have recovery from other addictions but this one is the worst. To everyone who is struggling...never give up trying. When a craving comes I tell my brain to take a hike as it my thinking that's out to get me.
Gail CANADA
Montreal, Quebec, Canada 04-08-08
ellison@videotron.ca I too am a member in GA. I joined in Feb/07. I fought thru the program, gathered almost 90 days and went back out. Came back in again, went to rehab for 28 days, and fought thru 7 months of abstinence. Having recently gone back out and back in the program, I have learned that I do not have trust in others and have difficulty in reaching out. I am hoping that I can do so with your newsletters with questions and comments. Thank you.

Renee TEXAS
Cedar Hill, TX

04-07-2008

LADYR01@AOL.COM

Hello ladies, this is the first time for reading this site. I'm struggling hard trying to stop this addiction of mine. I guess for the longest time I have been in denial that it wasn't so bad. I go to the game rooms in Texas since gambling is not legal here. I have lost thousands of dollars that my husband has no idea of. For the past year we have had to struggle very hard to stay afloat and I blame myself. I'm trying to get started on recovery and just reading this site and seeing myself in some of you has helped. I need to find somewhere that I can go locally. If any of you know of somewhere, please e-mail me. Thanks for listening and hopefully the next time I can have good news of my changing my life around.

Patricia NEVADA
Henderson, Nevada
04/07/08

mantaraygirl@embarqmail.com

Very enlightening, didn't know there was anything just for females. I am a compulsive gambler and am trying to quit. Very hard, but I persist. I want to buy the book I read about, as soon as I have the money. Which will hopefully be soon.

Pam NEVADA
Reno, NV

04/02/08
pamangx4@sbcglobal.net

Hello everyone!

I am going to my very first GA meeting tonight. I'm nervous and a bit scared, but I know in my heart I need to do this. Living in Reno is extremely hard for me, but my job is here and my kids love the area. I am a compulsive gambler, who started out a "casual" player, but have been in the grips of this awful disease for almost 2 years. I can't sleep, can't focus and I really need to stop. So I'm off to the meeting in a few hours. I hope it goes okay!

Mary MISSOURI
Columbia, MO

03-31-08
radrn2@juno.com

It's been almost two years since I've played the slots. The casino is calling to me in the form of freebies and cash coupons. I was a big spender and they miss my money, but they are going to have to do without me. One visit and I would be right back in a holy mess. I proudly can say, over the past 20 months my debt is almost gone. What a great feeling that day will be. All of my family loves and supports me. My moments of feeling guilty, depressed and worthless are only memories. Thanks to the great help I got.
I am on the road to maintaining. I know deep in my being I will never be cured of this disease, my job is to stay in remission. Prayers from family, friends and the great women on this site are giving me my life back. Thanks to all for sharing the stories. Just voicing what we go through is a path to healing. Feel free to contact if you need a shoulder, a hug. or straight talk. I support all of us.
I recently got an email from someone wanting me to answer a questionnaire for a study on women compulsive gamblers. I haven't answered yet. I need to find out the purpose and credentials of this study. If anyone has heard from this person, let me know. Must go............be strong and remember you are wonderful women who can make a difference in your lives. If I can (who contemplated suicide for a very brief moment) all of us can. We are the female gender and we can do it all, our way.

Margaret NEW YORK
Palmyra, NY

3/30/08
margaretferran@yahoo.com

Hi ladies, my name is Margaret and I'm a compulsive gambler. I am almost one week free from my last trip to the casino. Started looking for cg websites and found this one, so glad I did. I'm open to any help and guidance that I can get to help me overcome the urge to gamble. Hope and prayers to you all.

Julie GEORGIA
Glennville, GA
03-28-28

jfmoody61@yahoo.com

Just a note to say "finally" a site for compulsive gamblers for women. I will book mark this page and hope to read more postings. I celebrated 3 years last September 13, one day at a time. Good luck to all.

Rose ARIZONA
Sun City Arizona
3/24/08
maandpanorth@cox.net

A special hello to all my sisters who are recovering gamblers and to those who are desperately trying to stop gambling. I too am a recovering compulsive gambler. I've recently published another book which delves into women and compulsive gambling.

If your interested click onto: www.Xlibris.com/RosemaryA.CunliffeNorth.html You won't be disappointed by reading the "book display" on the left side of the page. Wishing everyone success in overcoming their urges to gamble.
Rose N.

Barb CANADA
Oshawa, Ontario
March 18, 2008

b_1243@hotmail.ca

I have been in GA since 2001, doctors, and treatment centres over and over. I am a bingo player, scratch tickets, and nevea tickets. I started to become very very sick in 1998 because I spent so much money. I lost my husband in 2005, he used to tell me over and over that I caused him to get sick with cancer. I started to believe him and I felt so guilty after he passed away that I didn't want to be here anymore. I managed to stop bingo and scratch tickets, but I am still having trouble with nevea tickets. Right now I am taking one day a time and giving all my money to my high-power, my daughter.

Sharon GLASGOW, SCOTLAND
Glasgow, Scotland

2/22/08
sharon.davis99@yahoo.co.uk

I am so glad that I stumbled across your website. I have told other female GA members in my area about this. It is great to read stories from other recovering women and lets you know you are not alone. This illness is the same no matter where you live or how you were brought up. Thank you for taking the time to maintain this site and I will read it every month.

I now have a new friend, Marilyn, who I have emailed since reading this site and am looking forward to talking to her more via email.

Thanks again, Love Sharon

Karen ONTARIO, CANADA
Ontario, Canada
02/19/08
jkarenk@msn.com

Hello All,

Karen here a grateful recovering compulsive gambler, clean date Nov 6/05. Was told about this site at a GA meeting tonight, and after browsing some of the posts feel shocked when I realize how many of you out there, are suffering like I once was. Please believe me when I say that there is hope for you. For those who need someone to talk to online please feel free to email me. There is also another site that is very active and has meetings online. It is Safe Harbor for Compulsive Gamblers. I believe it is www.sfcghub

Easy Does It!
YSIR,

Laura INDIANA
Hammond, Indiana
02/16/08

lauramike@sbcglobal.net

I really enjoyed this site! I too am a compulsive gambler ever since 1990! WOW that is a long time! I can relate to a lot of the ladies. I too would like to QUIT this self-destructive pattern.

Sheila MINNESOTA
Brainerd, Minnesota

02/11/08
brainerdlady@brainerd.net

I'm glad I stumbled upon your sight. I have been in recovery and attending GA meetings for 18 months and life has never been so sweet. 18 months ago I seriously attempted to end my life due to my gambling addiction. Had it not been for the quick thinking of my darling husband, I would not be here to write this. If anyone out there thinks "that will never happen to me" just remember that you are not there YET. Compulsive Gambling is a progressive disease that will ultimately end up in prison, insanity, or death. I thank God everyday for my husband, my program, my sponsor, and my life.

Saskatchewan SASKATCHEWAN, CANADA
Canada
02/11/08
magdalen42@hotmail.com

Hello,
I just returned from the local casino feeling like usual... depressed that I have lost money again along with the inner feelings of self hatred and remorse. I was gamble free for 12 years and returned to the addiction about a year ago. It started small and I was able to control how much I would spend but we all know that that control does not last. I have read this website many times hoping I would find some strength and now I know that I am at a critical point. I have tried to talk to my husband about this but he just is too afraid to deal with this. He stopped talking to me the last time and in hindsight I should have never told him. You women are my hope. We do not have a GA Program here so I need all of you to be my lifeline. I have been through this nightmare before and I want to stop this NOW. I too can be there if anyone needs me because I have walked this walk before. I tend to have strong gambling urges when I am alone, the kids are at school and my husband is at work. I need to find something that gives me the same rush as the gambling does...housework just doesn't cut it. I would really like to hear from anyone with ideas that they used to avoid the temptation of going to the casino. Hope to hear from anyone....Thanks for being there.

Dawn KENTUCKY
Burlington, KY
2/09/2008
dawn.owens@yahoo.com

Great articles. My first time here. I will be back!!!
Thank you!

Jamie WISCONSIN
Milwaukee, WI
02/05/08
jmarlis1125@yahoo.com

Today I feel I am a "recovering compulsive gambler." It has been 4 months and I am beginning to FEEL. When I answer the 20 questions today, instead of all yes, I can honestly say no when asked if arguments or frustrations create an urge to gamble. Escaping is no longer an option for me. Today I am a strong confident woman with a voice. Today I will Let Go and Let God.

Nancy ILLINOIS
Chicago, IL
02/03/08
nancyrn2005@att.net

I do not know where to begin. I have a gambling problem, which I have had for years. I want to stop...I don't want to do this anymore but even as I write this I want to log on to the online casino to "win back my money" How sick is that? I am ready to try anything.

Patricia MISSOURI
Republic, Mo

01/30/08
crjack58@cablemo.net

I need help with this problem of gambling.

karen CALIFORNIA
San Diego, CA
01/28/2008
karenhinsd@aol.com

One year ago I walked through the doors at GA. I finally succumbed to the knowledge that I couldn't do this alone and now, one year later....ONE YEAR GAMBLE FREE LATER, I understand the patience that is required to go through it...one day at a time, one hour at a time, sometimes, even one heartbeat at a time. Sometimes on my knees, praying to anybody who wanted to listen that I might just make it to the next meeting where, among all the others, I sounded like a cry baby. But, as I know now, we have a saying in our GA group...WHATEVER IT TAKES, whether it be complaining, crying, praying, whatever it takes to get through the day. Pride or arrogance will not help you here...it takes a complete surrender of our wanting to stop it. We can only control it for today, for this hour, for this moment...but we can control it. For you of those out there, I did it and so can you. Go and find a GA group that you can belong to. Listen to people in the program who have been in it for years and look at the new comers. You are one of them. See the despair in the new comers and the quiet serenity in the long timers. One day at a time, try it. Your life can change, if you chose the right door to step through. GA has the door, only you can open it. Good luck. I'm into my second year and will update every year. Thanks for listening. Karen H. in San Diego

Sue ARIZONA
Yuma, Az

01/25/08
vansickle2@hotmail.com

As I sit here crying, I have to tell you how much it meant to me to read your words. I just got off the phone from the hotline where I was given this web site. I guess I will begin my first day Wednesday, I hope I will be able to some day write the same great words saying that I have even one year or one month I am so afraid right now and so ashamed. I don't have the money that I have spent on this damn thing that I absolutely hate, but can't stop. How do you control it or stop it from eating you alive?

"Dead In Yuma"

Burnita CALIFORNIA
South San Francisco, CA
1/20/08
burnita59@comcast.net

I'm just beginning my recovery. Will attend my first GA meeting tomorrow. I have no support system, live with my mother, am 48 years old, pretty pathetic by anyone's standards. But, I've discovered this site and am reading about people like me. It's tremendously meaningful and helpful.

I had a bad relapse a couple days ago and am now ready to do the hard work to get better. My mother told me since I already visit a psychiatrist (talks to me for 5 minutes and gives me drugs) she doesn't think GA can help. Can't understand how they'll be able to help since its just a bunch of people sitting around telling their problems. Wish me luck!

Aqamak ALASKA
Barrow, Alaska, USA

01/17/08
babyeejay@hotmail.com

Thank you for this website, I live in a state that only has GA mtgs 900+ miles away from me... my only support is AA, and though they are the same steps and the people in AA know addiction, they still do not understand the gambling addiction as other complusive gamblers do. Reading the articles helped me for today, and today is all I need. Thank you!

Jamie WEST VIRGINIA
Parkersburg, WV
01/17/2008
jamie_riedel@yahoo.com

I just found this site and I first want to say "Thank You." I have been struggling with this addiction for 5 years. I am 25 and want to stop this before it spirals even more out of control. I gambled for the last time yesterday. I am tired of the horrible feelings I get even when I 'win." I even saw a counselor today. I know I can do this and I want to do this. Not only the money lost, but the time lost. I want to stop. I need to stop.

I am thinking of starting my own support group and website. I will let you all know when I do. I would love to receive emails from anyone, I check my email constantly and would like to gain some friends who understand.

Nathalie CANADA
New Brunswick, Canada
01/13/08
speedy90210@hotmail.com

Glad I discovered this website

Jamie WISCONSIN
Milwaukee, WI

01/07/08
jmarlis1125@yahoo.com

Hello everyone! I hope the New Year is treating you well. With God's grace, I am 94 days free from the devil's hold. I have been reviewing Step 1 in GA ever reminding me of the insanity of my illness. I can't forget where I've been. Some things I can laugh at, but most things weigh heavy on my heart. Today I have some clarity which I am holding on to with both hands. God Bless You.

Jamie WISCONSIN
Milwaukee, WI
12/20/07
jmarlis1125@yahoo.com

Every day I read through different articles and comments posted on this website, and the therapy I get is amazing. Whatever challenge I'm facing, I find I am not alone. Of the GA meetings I attend, I am the only married woman with children. I find it difficult to connect with the other members on certain issues and that's where all of you come in. I appreciate all of you so much and it's so comforting knowing I am not alone. THANK YOU!!!

Jamie WISCONSIN
Milwaukee, WI
12/17/07
jmarlis1125@yahoo.com

Well, tomorrow I will be home 1 month from my 30 day treatment for compulsive gambling. Reflecting back, I think I'm starting to get "IT". I've been to 13 meetings, including a trip back to Minnesota for Growth Group, gone back on my antidepressants, read 2 daily readings with my husband, all while raising 3 children and getting ready for Christmas. Right here, Right now I feel happy. And that's enough for me.

Joanne CANADA
Winnipeg, Manitoba, Canada

12/07/07
j_soldier71@hotmail.com

I find the women's stories of recovery inspiring. I am a compulsive gambler which has increased from the past six years. I am tired of the emotional roller coaster that gambling brings and more determined to cure this sickness within me.

Please post more stories! : )

Carlene OKLAHOMA
Tulsa, OK
12/5/07
green_c_g@yahoo.com

I love your site and needed desperately to find a place where I could "talk" with other women in similar circumstances. I plan to get your book as soon as I quit gambling long enough to have the money. I was border-line going to a GA meeting, as I am currently seeing a counselor specialized in gambling addiction. But after my daughter sent me this site, I will most definitely go. I'm kind of the stubborn sort who would rather "do it myself" than to seek help. But this gambling addiction has taken over my life and I began to realize that I cannot go it alone. Even with God on my side, I still need conversations with other people who understand.

Jamie WISCONSIN
Milwaukee, WI

12/03/07
jmarlis1125@yahoo.com

I first found this website almost 2 years ago. I knew I had a big problem and reached out for help, but then resisted it when I received it. This illness is progressive--it only gets worse, never better. It's proven the end of the road is insanity, imprisonment or death. I was committed to a mental hospital for threatening suicide (not to mention countless times of just plain insane behavior) so I already experienced 2 of the 3. Death is just around the corner if I place just one more bet. After spending 30 days inpatient for compulsive gambling, I am now 60 DAYS CLEAN today. I attend 3-4 GA meetings a week and am working the 12 steps one day at a time. It hasn't been easy, but it is simple. I am proud to say I am in recovery. Any bad day now is better than any good day gambling.
Please e-mail me. I believe Support=Recovery!!

Lori NEVADA
Reno, NV
12/03/07
javabutch@yahoo.com

Wow..I finally found a website that deals not only with compulsive gambling, but also for women...thank you soooo much for having this information available!
I stumbled across your site while doing a search online for meetings...hard to find any online GA meetings...Safe Harbor website has the chat room, but no one was there.

I appreciate you being there for me...a compulsive gambler. Your articles are great...please don't stop! Hugs, Lori

Mary MISSOURI
Columbia, MO
12/01/07
radrn2@juno.com

I read an article today in people magazine about women like us who are in prison, having to make restitution for embezzling thousands of dollars. They have disappointed their children and spouses. Some gambled on line, other in casinos. My heart goes out to them, because that could be me. Without the help and support from my therapist and husband, I would totally have hit rock bottom. I've been gamble free for over 18 months and I am slowly getting my life back. My debt is still hanging over me but it is dwindling. .I can actually buy something simple and not freak out that I am spending money. I work very hard for my money and now know that sitting for hours in front of slots was also not making me happy. Yes, zoned out, forgetting my problems, but also adding to them when I got up to leave the casino. When friends say, "Hey, lets go to the boat". I just say, "No thanks, not my thing anymore". It is hard, because that addictive personality of mine would love to join the party...but with great support, determination and lots of prayer, I know that the party is not for me.

So ladies hang in there, find your support where you can, take it one gambling-free day at a time. and remember we are here for you. Contact me if you need a pep talk, a shoulder to cry on or even tough love words. You too can be gambling free. Find your local GA group. Nobody will look down at you or judge, just give you a voice and lots of compassion. take care strong, beautiful women.

Mary

Betty WISCONSIN
Ettrick,WI
11/14/07
avadiha39@aol.com
I would like to find some email pals to talk with due to my compulsive gambling. I live in a small area and there isn't anyone I can talk to about my situation. Please email me about your situations and what you did. You may be able to help me. Thank you and God bless....

Deborah N. MISSOURI
Kansas City, MO
USA
dneal@kc.rr.com
10-09-07
I just love the website...It's beautiful and well-structured. Keep up the great work.

Betty WEST VIRGINIA
Fairmont, WV
USA

10/08/07

My first visit to the Website. Thank you for your understanding. I am new to recovery, one relapse, but I have begun the process of regaining my sanity and dignity again. Thank you.

Shelley R CALIFORNIA

San Diego, Ca
9/25/07

Working on my recovery one day at a time. By the grace of God and G.A. I have not placed a bet since May 5th 2006.

Sharon CANADA
Toronto, ON
Canada
sreynolds@ofifc.org

09/07/07

As a woman recovering from gambling addictions and working in the field for over 7 years as a certified gambling addictions counsellor, I am very happy to see the support for women on your website! I found your site to be very informative, educational and compassionate.
Thank you for your work!

K CANADA
Toronto
Canada

08/28/07

I am trying to quit gambling before I lose what little I have left. I am so tired of living like this....I so desperately need some hope. Thank you for the site....for the first time in a long time I felt a little less alone reading some of the posts.

Marlene CALIFORNIA
Shasta Lake Ca.
Marlene_11_01@att.net

8/25/07

I really like what is being done here. your site is great. Sincerely, I want to quit.

ARIZONA

"In Gripped by Gambling, Marilyn Lancelot describes her horrendous journey through addiction, embezzlement and incarceration, followed by an honest account of what it took to clean up the mess. The pain and courage displayed in these pages will lift up readers and inspire them to heal their own lives." - Kimberly Kingsley

Kimberly Kingsley, Arizona Author and Energy Coach www.kimberlykingsley.com.

MINNESOTA Crystal, Minnesota tke677@msn.com 08-15-07 I have been gambling for 10 long years. I don't even know how much I have spent over the years. On Aug. 4 2007 I self banned myself from the casino I go to. That is the BEST thing I could of done. I had lost all control. I was spending money I didn't have. Pulling money out of credit cards. Using any money I could to go and gamble. The casino was my life. No more though!!! I am married to a great guy and have 3 daughters. 22yrs. old and twin girls that are 9. I am 41 yrs. old, and I am ready for my new life!!!! I am looking forward to learning about this site. Are there chat rooms on here??? Hope to talk soon, Maria



Bonnie OREGON Gresham, Oregon boniru@comcast.net 8/8/07 To all the women on the WHW website, and to all the countless other women who are struggling with this addiction, my thoughts and prayers are with you. I am so grateful that I have not placed a bet for over 4 months now, One Day at a Time. My life is better in so many ways. Instead of self destructing with gambling, I am staying busy by working the tools of recovery. I have started a womens' G.A. meeting in Gresham, where I live. I have received so much hope and help from the women I have met in my journey, and now I want to give back some of what has been given to me. It is by Gods Grace, G.A., A.A., the WHW website, my counselor, my friends, my family, and my time spent in treatment, that I am at the place where I am today. I am so Grateful to everyone. If any one needs to chat, please feel free to email me. You are not alone in this. Love and God Bless Bonnie

Deanna CALIFORNIA San Diego, CA dvanwey1@cox.net 07/05/2007 What an excellent website/resource for women in recovery from gambling. I wish all who are actively working on their recovery great strength and courage in their journey. I believe that we as women have special needs and issues that arise in our process and this website is a great way to connect. I feel very fortunate that I have a women's step group that allows me a safe environment to learn from my "recovery elders" and to surrender to the process of overcoming this horrible illness.

Lisa MICHIGAN Michigan ljlomas@yahoo.com 08/02/07 Thank you all for your stories. It is 3:00 a.m. and I am not asleep because of the mess I have made with my life. I started gambling in 1993, stopped a few times, but always went back. I love the comment about paying off debts. It seems so impossible at this point, but I know in time things do get better if I would just stay out of the casino. How insane to feed dollar after dollar into a machine, letting your money slip out of your hand like it's nothing at all. Walking out of the casino at 1:30 in the morning, I noticed I was not alone. A woman, maybe a few years older than me was also leaving. We are not alone in our suffering. There are multitudes out there in similar circumstances. I want today to be the last time I visit the casino, the last time I let a damn slot machine suck every bit of life and creativity and happiness and hope out of me.
Thanks to Women Helping Women.

Susan S. WASHINGTON
Olympia, WA
USA
Email: susank_12@hotmail.com
07/30/07

I really love this site. I come and read it all the time and it helps me tremendously in my recovery. I have been in recovery for 10 1/2 months, and although it is a short amount of time, the change in my life has been incredible. I am starting to like who I am again and the "fog" of my addiction is lifting. I just want to encourage any woman out there that has not sought help yet, to find a Gamblers Anonymous meeting, although it may be hard to walk in that door, it will be the best gift you will ever give yourself.

Also, if anyone wants to email me, that would be great.

Rose N. ARIZONA Sun City Contact Email: r.cunliffe@cox.net Date: 07-30-07 I'd like to congratulate all of you out there who read the comments written about gambling and share how much time and effort you put into your recovery. It's crucial that you share your stages of recovery with other gamblers, for sharing is a major part of our recovery. I've known Marilyn for almost 4 years and she has helped me tremendously! She has inspired me to finish a manuscript that I wrote 14 years ago when my son was murdered in Las Vegas, Nevada. I had a very weak ending and decided to finish my book with my addiction to gambling. I'm hoping my book is an inspiration to others and its read. "Beyond the Glitz and Glamour of Las Vegas" My book is listed under: NEW SUGGESTED READING to your left. My very best wishes, cheers, tears, and sharing to all of you out there, far and near. Love Rose PS: love to hear from you: r.cunliffe@cox.net

Dana CALIFORNIA Northern California dcm_tvm2003@yahoo.com 07/29/07 Hi everyone, Haven't been on the site for several months, but was just thinking about how helpful it always is and decided to read some entries. About 1 hour later I found that I was smiling, sound funny? Smiling because there are so many strong women on this site, so many women who have problems with gambling and who can come here for comfort. This site is such a huge help, thank you Marilyn for everything you do for all of the women struggling with gambling addiction. I did buy your book and read it in 1 day, actually I couldn't put it down! I did see a great slogan on here "everyday I don't play, I am a WINNER". I love that and will use that because it is true! For all of the wonderful women out there who are struggling with the gambling demon - stick to GA meetings and talk to other people on this site. Sometimes there are no other ladies in meetings and it is not as easy to talk to a room full of men, use this site to help you through all of that. There are not many women in the meetings I go to and finding someone you can truly trust is not easy. I find that talking to men can be difficult at times, since it was long thought gambling was a mans addiction. Well I am here to say gambling is not gender specific! Find someone in your area on here and start emailing them and get some comfort from another woman who will understand your problems. Thank you for this site, and thank you for GA. I have been clean since 1/16/06 and with the help of a higher power and all the other resources I use I am blessed and thankful for not placing a bet. One day at a time! Peace to all, Dana

LIZ CANADA Ottawa, Ontario Canada liztait@gmail.com 07/20/07 Good resource, thank you

Marvina GEORGIA Valdosta, GA 07/18/07
Hi all. My name is Marvina and I am a compulsive gambler. I want to share something I just learned this week: MEDICATION commonly prescribed for Parkinson's Disease and Restless Leg Syndrome CAN TRIGGER COMPULSIVE GAMBLING BEHAVIOR. I know it sounds crazy but it is true. Just do a web search for "Mirapex and Gambling" and you will see. (Requip is another drug that appears to pose the same danger.) I began taking Mirapex about 6 years ago, and began my compulsive gambling about 6 years ago. I have an appointment with my doctor to discontinue Mirapex. Reports say that the urge to gamble ceases almost immediately when patients discontinue the drug. I still do not plan to tempt fate and begin gambling again after I stop the medication. I feel I have already crossed that "imaginary line" and there's no going back. I do, however, have hopes that the urge will not be there to constantly tempt me.

Sandi MICHIGAN Traverse City, Mich sandilee925@charter.net 07/15/07 Hi every one! I cannot believe it's been six months since I have been on this site. Ii am still not gambling but that does not mean I don't think about it. If anyone would like to e-mail me, please do. Thanks so much for this site.
Sandi

Mayra RHODE ISLAND Cranston, RI 7/10/07 Great site! I really feel this site can help women like me that are "gripped by gambling". Thank you.

Rose N. ARIZONA
Sun City Arizona
07/08/087

Dear GA Sisters, Every time I read the news letter and recognize all those wonderful women who are like myself who are in recovery from their addiction; I know that we are all sisters united through the Gamblers Anonymous program striving for continued courage to remain abstinent. We can and will prevail, "one day at a time." And for those struggling, hang on and I know you'll make it!

Love,

Rose N., author of: Beyond the Glitz and Glamour of Las Vegas

7/08/07 WISCONSIN


Bonnie OREGON Gresham Oregon USA boniru@comcast.net 07/05/07 Today is 100 days gamble free!! Life is good, and getting better each day I choose to live without placing a bet. I have had other stretches of time without gambling, once for 2 years and three months. I spent 2 1/2 years, getting some abstinence, followed by many devastating, demoralizing relapses. Many people, had begun to wonder if I would ever "Get it". I too, had come to a realization that maybe I was a hopeless case. That was a horrible, disturbing place to be, yet at the same time it became my salvation. The pain and God awful Hell, which my gambling had become for me, had finally brought me to my knees. I really didn't want to die the slow death that I was surely doing, living in my addiction and disease. It had become too painful, not only for me but for those who Loved me. Even my husband who had "rescued" me so many times before, for fear that I was dying, realized that he could not save me. I had to choose, slow death.... or life. I choose life, and I am so grateful to God that I did. I went to treatment for 37 days, which was not my first time in treatment for my gambling. I probably hold some kind of record, having gone to treatment 7 times in a 2 1/2 year period! Thank God I did not let pride get in my way. Pride will kill me, as I have seen it do to others. So I humbled myself and went back to treatment. Thank God I did not give up on myself! Today my recovery is the most important thing in my life, and I have become willing to go to any lengths to maintain my abstinence. I am finally willing to use many of the tools in my "tool box", instead of just a few, as I had been doing before. Life today is so worth living! I am grateful to GA, my friends in GA, my family, my gambling counselor Donleen, who I have been seeing for over 3 years, treatment at Algamus, treatment at Bridgeway in Salem Ore. and all the counselors there, and most of all to God. It took what it took for me to get to the place that I am at today, and God was there through it all. If my experience can be helpful to any other women out there, who are suffering and feeling like giving up, then my pain will not have been in vain. Please do not give up on yourself. Reach out your hand, to God, to a friend or family member, to GA, to a counselor, to someone. You are not alone, and there is help and hope for you. God Bless Bonnie

steve ENGLAND hoddesdon uk steve_cattell@yahoo.co.uk 26-Jun-2007 02:59:08 PM I have not been doing my meetings and had a bet, which led to more. I went to a meeting tonight, as I can't stop on my own. I am not a woman, but am a fellow gambler who can't stop without the fellowship and the program. I am so glad that you have a womens' meeting. Here in the uk, they don't allow it. I am sick and without you all, I can never get better, this is a life long battle, and I am so glad for sites like these.

mary MISSOURI columbia,mo radrn1@hotmail.com 25-Jun-2007 09:14:31 PM It has been one year since I hit rock bottom, unable to function at home or work. I sat and cried, rocking on my couch by myself. My husband was on a guy-only float trip, my son at camp. I was totally freaked about telling my husband the amount of debt I had, all due to my gambling addiction. I couldn't find a GA here in Columbia, the state setup was a joke " 1-800 bets off" referred me to a program that did nothing for compulsive gamblers, only alcoholic or drug addicts, even though those groups have the same issues. After going through my phone book, calling clinics, and psych offices. I called the state gaming commission funding help offices( none in my town) and I lucked out and got a break, the local university has an adult psych clinic that had someone willing to take me on and only cost 20.00 a visit, after about 8 mos of therapy), I am casino free, guilt free and life is good. It's been a year since I sat in a fog or trance in front of the slot machine. My debt is down (not gone-but down) paying it off myself by working overtime. My family has been nothing but supportive. I only pay cash for everything..no credit card. Believe me, you can do it too I realize I am a lifetime addict, in recovery. I take each day One Day at a Time and I have moments when I still have the urge to drive to the casino, but the memory of how mentally and physically ill I felt gives me new strength. so wonderful, strong, blessed women, we are in this together and we can do anything. I'm with you all, in my thoughts and prayers

Judy NORTH CAROLINA Lake Toxaway, NC jujohnson@citcom.net 17-Jun-2007 05:30:44 PM Today is fathers day. But today is also my 50th birthday. I am gamble free over 3 1/2 years now. Thanks to Algamas and the group there. The Lord Jesus Christ, and my loving family and friends. I just want to thank everyone...Most of all I am free to do what I want. I have choices..I have a life again....Thanks GA

Anastasia CALIFORNIA San Francisco, CA djdowner@pacbell.net 06/07/07 I am a new member of GA. Also sober since Sept 13, 1980 in AA. As I gain time in abstinence, I will have more to share. Thank you for being here.

Debi ARIZONA Scottsdale, AZ debiduvall@cox.net 06/07/07 May the Blessings Be! Thanks so much!

Ben SOUTH DAKOTA Jane Jefferson, South Dakota janesa2232@hotmail.com 06/04/07 Great site with great information!!!!

stacey NEW YORK long island, ny usa spisciotta1@optonline.net 05/30/07 I'd like to read A Place Where Weeds and Roses Grow..but the website isn't working and I've googled it and checked Amazon.com and Borders...no luck..any advice?

Bill Parsell AUSTRALIA Hobart Australia bill_parsell@hotmail.com.au 05/24/07 Brilliant, something I can recommend to my Female group participants.

Darlene CANADA Canada allisgood_darlene@hotmail.com 05/24/07 Hi, Ladies I like to share my new slogan, "Every Day I don't play, I am a WINNER !

jennifer WISCONSIN madison,wi 05/23/07 I found your site today....I have more hope for myself than I did 1 hour ago........I'm my way out the door to buy the Gripped by Gambling....with the cash I was gong to use for gambling today....I am going to try really hard to take the road to the bookstore, and not the road to the casino..

nicole CANADA
canada lavi0167@hotmail.com 05/20/07 I am very grateful for this site. I recently encountered a gambling problem. I am almost 30 days clean after several attempts to quit gambling. I have been visiting this web-site frequently and have read and re-read testimonies. I find it very helpful in battling this addiction and to see that I am not alone. Thank you so much for your help Best luck to all Nicole, Canada

Karen CALIFORNIA San Diego, CA USA khinsd@aol.com 05/20/07 Weekly, I read or write the guest book and I hope that all the struggling compulsive gamblers understand they are not alone, and can't stop this addiction on their own. Besides this site, you HAVE TO GO TO GA MEETINGS. There is no other way. GA will make you at least feel not so alone. They understand where you're at and what is coming. It's been 113 days and counting. thanks, Marilyn for writing a book we all relate to. Good luck to everyone on this site.

Bonnie OREGON Gresham, Ore. USA boniru@comcast.net 05/19/07 I am not getting the chat room on my computer. Has It been discontinued?

Sherry OREGON Portland,Or Sharonp2902@aol.com 05/19/07 I'm a compulsive gambler looking for help. I do not know how to sign up for newsletters or get into Chat room and times. Please someone help me get the info I need to recover...

viki WISCONSIN WI USA mepookie2001@yahoo.com.au 05/15/07 Your right Steve about the list. My 1st meeting was 4/3/07. I was scared to even to walk in the room . We have a small group and I felt welcomed right away. I didn't want to bother anyone so I didn't use the list . Thanks to a wonderful woman she called me and asked me how I was doing . We have become friends now. I have even met another woman friend on this website and we email each other about 2 times a week .
You took a big step in going to a GA meeting. It does take a little time to know the others. We were all there too. Its still hard for me to open up but with each meeting, I do . If you need anyone to talk to just email me you can never have too many friends . Good luck in your journey, your new life with out gambling. REMEMBER one day at a time

steve ENGLAND hertfordshire uk steve_cattell@yahoo,co,uk 05/14/07 I found that going to a GA meeting was like a friends-reunited club at first. Yes, you're given a list of phone numbers but I think it would make more sense to ask the new person if he/she wants to give their number to the members and a sponsor calls to build a fellowship straight away. I felt that I was very much alone at first. Yes, I could call but they were complete strangers and some new members are shy and can't make the call. They may want to but their addiction or feeling insecure makes them stop. This is how I felt and as much as I can talk to the world non-stop, I still find talking to GA members very hard work. I think the way of life that funded my gambling didn't help build relationships.

Steve in England

Cindy ILLINOIS Illinois US cindycup2000@yahoo.com 05/09/07 I post occasionally and I just read someone's comment, and it really hit home and if there is a "next time" which I find myself feeding every last dollar I have into a slot machine at some casino- which I hope and pray doesn't happen,,, I will ask myself "Why are you feeding everything into a machine that doesn't care about you or your family?"
We all think the big win may come, I have had MANY, but I have never gone home with ANY, the machine I always thought was "my friend" let me down over and over again. How many times in real life would we give that "friend" another chance if it was a living, breathing human? Not as many as I have given the slots,, I guess if I have to use strange ways to beat this addiction I will. Maybe I will have to finally realize, that the stupid slot machine has totally ruined me financially, emotionally and socially and finally realize that darn machine doesn't have the feelings of hurt, shame and disgust and just waits for the next person to walk up and ruin their life. I often find myself looking around the casino and wondering if the person next to me is as devastated as I am,, and I know deep down the majority are. We need to join together and QUIT THE MADNESS.
My thoughts and prayers are with you all,, let's join together and stop the madness. End the cycle NOW so our own children don't end up like we have,, just don't go. That machine/table/bingo card is not your friend. It might sound strange but the next time you are "there", look at whatever it is you are giving your paycheck to and ask yourself, "Has this "thing" ever fed or clothed my family?" Probably not! Will it ever? ABSOLUTELY NOT!

daphne AUSTRALIA nsw Australia daph@kooee.com.au 05/08/07 Hi I just found your web site I love it and thank you all. I don't feel so alone any more, its a lonely business gambling looking forward to hearing from someone!
Daphne from Australia

Janet CALIFORNIA Yucaipa, CA USA JGutie1225@aol.com 05/05/07 This is an awesome website. I just returned to GA after a 11 months lapse, I was new to it as of Jan 06 stayed clean for almost 7 months, then stopped going and went back to the casino, life got worse than it was before. I purchased Marilyn's book "Gripped By Gambling" on my second day of reading I knew I had to get back to GA. Thank-you Marilyn.

Kim D ARIZONA Mesa, AZ irishrose122570@yahoo.com 05/01/07 Marilyn, I love you. Thank you for being an inspiration to me. Kim D

Michelle WINDSOR, ONTARIO Windsor, Ontario, Canada michelle_timmins@wrh.on.ca 05/01/07 Just started reading Marilyn's book Gripped by Gambling and saw the website for female gamblers. I am a social worker and have been working with compulsive gamblers and their families since 1995. My first trainer was the wonderfully brilliant Joanna Franklin. I want to let you know that I intend to pass your website on to all my treatment team as well as well as my clients. This is a wonderful place for women to get information. By the way, I work at a treatment facility where we have outpatient, intensive day treatment and residential treatment for men and women. Our services are free for residents of Ontario.
Keep up the good work! Michelle in Canada

brian NORTH CAROLINA youngville NC USA bebe434@earthlink.net 04/25/07 Hi Fellow gamblers This is a great site I am a Compulsive gambler in recovery, a fellow GA member give me this site and the information on the book. Joe B who is a great Compulsive gambler who will be 29 years gamble free in recovery this Thursday . once again just what to let you Know that this is a great site Your friend in recovery Brian

Ricky B. OKLAHOMA Edmond, OK USA msricky13@yahoo.com 04/19/07 Hi Ms. Marilyn, I love you and Congrats on your book!! I only wish it hadn't taken you 15+ years to write it... hee hee. Good job. love ya, Ricky B.

Heather TEXAS Willis,Texas United States gunterhld@yahoo.com 04/15/07 I am pleased to see that there are other women out there with a gambling problem and that I am not the only one. I just told my husband that I have a gambling problem and that I spend about $100 a day on scratch off tickets. I am trying to find a class or group in my area that will help me.

viki AUSTRALIA Wi. mepookie2001@yahoo.com.au 04/11/07 This is a wonderful site. I've learned more on this site (beside going to GA meetings) That there is hope and understanding about my sickness, that I'm not alone and scared by myself . How does the chat work ? I can't believe nobody is on it .

Viki in Australia

Lisa CALIFORNIA San Dimas, CA antlcox5@aol.com 04/10/07 Thank you so much for this site. I placed my last bet on April 8, 2007. I am addicted to playing live poker. I have spent the better part of my time trying to figure out how to beat the game, books, podcasts, poker shows. I started playing poker in August of 2003 and have been obsessed since. I have lost about 20,000 dollars in that span of time. I am going to a GA meeting tomorrow night and look forward to not ever having the losing sinking feeling in my stomach again. If anyone would like to correspond with me that would be great. Thanks for a great site. Lisa

Cindy ILLINOIS Illinois cindycup2000@yahoo.com 04/05/07 This website is one I always refer back to, for a pick me up every time I fall, which seems to be A LOT lately. For the women struggling with the "escape" I am a die hard for that. The suicide thoughts are often, but NOT AN OPTION EVER. My family loves me even though I do not feel like I deserve the love so I often push them away. My kids are my life and my shame from this addiction is more then I want them to know, but the thought of giving up on them is NOT an option. I may have to say "No we can't afford it" more lately then I would like to, but the thought of not being here to tell them "NO" is so not even worth it. That may not make sense to some in dire straits but the thought of never seeing my grandchildren, never watching my kids (currently 16 and 10) get married is so not worth giving up because of money I have lost and how stupid I feel for wasting every paycheck. I often find myself hating myself for blowing all of my money and looking for ways to "cover my a--" but I know deep down from reading everyone's "trials and tribulations" there is a happy ending to this dreaded disease. For some of us it comes sooner, some later. But it will come because I truly have faith. "God doesn't throw us ANYTHING we cannot handle". If you are like me and look for a great song, there is one from Rascal Flatts called "Stand" and there are two songs from the A&E show "Intervention" from The Fray called "Look after you" and "Trust me" that are WONDERFUL inspirations! Take one day at a time Ladies,,, there is so much more out there then the casinos, bingo halls, or whatever addiction might be a temptation. We have each other. Keep coming back and remember to take one day at a time and live life to the fullest. Life is too short to live with regrets. I believe this horrible addiction has the worst regrets a women could ever face. I remember telling my husband I wished I had an addiction that didn't cost so much money?? How insane is that??! Thinking and praying for you all!

Debbie UNITED STATES U.S. de_jo_re@yahoo.com 04/05/07 My last bet was placed on 3/30/07. My husband was with me at the casino but had no idea I was getting cash at the ATM. About 6:00 a.m. the following morning I woke up and told my husband that I had spent a great deal of money the night before and had also gotten cash advances on my credit card. This was the third time I had confessed my addiction to him. The first two times he was extremely understanding and I got off easy. This time he was furious and told me that I had to make a choice.......him or the casino. I attended my first GA meeting on Tuesday and intend to go back tonight. I am terrified of relapsing. My husband took my debit and credit cards. I don't want to have access to cash. If I did I would be sitting in front of a slot machine again. I am tired of the self-loathing. Gambling isn't fun anymore, it is just a very bad habit. I want my life back. I have become the consummate liar and I hate this person. Any encouragement or words of wisdom are appreciated.

Penny ARIZONA Phoenix, AZ ramp4vs@cox.net 04/02/07 Hi everyone, I have to share this with you. My husband bought me Marilyn's new book for my birthday. It is FANTASTIC! I can't put it down. Marilyn...well done. I'm sorry for the story but so grateful that you're sharing, it is so awesome. I can relate to so many thoughts and situations. I will share this book with many but will buy them their own as I WANT and NEED my own copy. From the bottom of my heart thank you and I hope everyone gets a copy and reads it. You won't be sorry. Take care, Penny

SUSAN FLORIDA TAMPA, FL SAP0224@HOTMAIL.COM 04/02/07 great job!

Judith Ann Hillard ARIZONA Phoenix, AZ judithannhillard@cox.net 03/28/07 I am so grateful for this ric