The holidays are a special time in my recovery from compulsive gambling. I was born Nov. 13, 1927. Then I was reborn Nov. 24, 1978, the date I stopped gambling. Thanksgiving was Nov. 23rd in 1978, and it was my 7th straight day of gambling—not showering, wearing the same clothes, without any sleep ... I did not want to live.

I had used my credit for the day and left the casino to go to a 7/11 store to cash a bad check. The cashier said they were closing and could not cash a check for me.

Not having a higher power in my life, I did not understand the anger that filled my mind. Such a nice lady, how could someone not cash a check for me? I gambled Thanksgiving Day rather than having dinner with my daughters. When I arrived home I called Gamblers Anonymous.

Showering and changing clothes felt delightful, but inside I felt sick and never thought I could stop gambling. Chet B. came and took me to the Paramount meeting. At the meeting I heard that I could stop gambling a day at a time, but I still didn't think I could do it.

Well, Vince V. introduced himself, and he has been my sponsor since my first GA meeting. I followed direction for the first time in my life. It was difficult to admit I was a compulsive gambler, but I learned to do the things I resisted the most.

I no longer was in charge, and shortly God became my Higher Power. I did what my sponsor told me to do.   Life became worthwhile and since that 1st meeting I have not made a bet of any kind.

Giving service plays a big part of my recovery. I chaired my first meeting after abstaining for 90 days. How proud I was to chair a meeting! Since that time I have been a trustee, a member of the board of regents, secretary and served when asked. I must be there for the newcomer. I also must give back what I have been given. I now have 23 years of continuous abstinence..........GOD BLESS GAMBLERS ANONYMOUS, THE BEST IS YET TO COME. Lynne H., CA

For so many years I thought of Christmas with not much joy. Since I have stopped gambling I find much more joy in giving than I did in lying and cheating myself and my husband.

New Years was what I used to get so excited by! Oh my, can we get a room comped in Reno? That would be perfect! Except I wasn't thinking how hard my husband worked to make sure our children and grandchildren had something for Christmas, plus me getting a trip. Of course, the trip always ended up costing us everything we had saved for winter. But then I didn't see or care.

My eyes are open wide now, and I see that I was very selfish for a good part of my life. I am glad he loved me enough to stand by me for all those years, but I know how much help I have received from a great group of recovering gamblers in GA! .......................Merry Christmas and have a lovely New Year.  Marilyn A., CA

HOME FOR THE HOLIDAYS

How would I know what was happening? I spent the weekend down on the casino floor playing the slot machines. When the kids came downstairs looking for me, I handed them a 20-dollar bill and sent them back upstairs to the game room.

But that would be the last year I took them to Laughlin ... shortly after that I went to prison for embezzling money to support my gambling habit.

Holidays in prison were difficult. Standing in lines to get our meals had become standard behavior but, even more than usual, on Thanksgiving Day we would rather have been home with our families. Incarcerated, we couldn't snack or walk to the refrigerator to get another plate of turkey. Prisoners couldn't take food out of the dining room. We ate what was on our plates— with our plastic forks and spoons—and no more.

Back in our tiny rooms, pictures of our families adorned the tables next to our cots, and we talked to them each night. My night stand held pictures of my kids and grandkids, and I wondered if they would love me when I came home. Thank God I spent only 1 holiday season in prison.

The day before Christmas, the guards came by and confiscated the few sparse Christmas decorations the gals had created and dropped them into a large green garbage bag. They delivered them to the main office where they stayed until the holidays passed.

On Christmas Day, the 400 inmates stood in long lines in front of the 8 pay phones and made collect calls to their families. The women shed many tears and assured their loved ones, "It's not really that bad in here." But we knew they didn't believe us. Some of the gals exchanged gifts that day: cupcakes, small bags of potato chips, a candy bar, or a needlepoint basket made in their craft class.

It's 11 years later, and I recently celebrated another Thanksgiving Day with my family. The aroma of roasting turkey permeated my home, and the kids filled it with joy and laughter. Now I don't have to kiss a picture, I can really kiss my family.

Dishes of food covered the table and we used real silverware. And the holiday didn't end after the dishes were done because we could keep snacking. Even after everyone departed, I could walk to the refrigerator any time I wanted to!

I just finished decorating my home for Christmas and will be inviting my family for dinner again. Looking forward to spending the time with them is all part of the joy of the holidays. Thank God I don't need to gamble today, and I am eternally grateful for my GA program and for the opportunity to turn my life around.

God bless you all.......Marilyn L., AZ

Hi Everyone, Well, here it is the holiday season again. I was very thankful at Thanksgiving for all the blessings I have received since I put down the last bet. Today, I have a loving God in my life. I have great friends who are always there for me through the happy, sad and "just because" days. I have a family that loves and respects me. I also love myself today.

Who would have thought a little over 13 years ago that I would ever be thankful for anything. Christmas is around the corner and I have all my presents bought and wrapped, and I am now getting ready to decorate my small home with Christmas Cheer.

When I gambled I never cared whether Christmas came or not, and decorations were not on my list at all. Today, I look forward to watching my loved ones open the presents I took time to buy.

Years ago, I would run around the last day of shopping and just grab anything that was cheap, not caring whether or not the items were needed or wanted. Today, I shop all year long for the special present for that special person. What a difference.

I love the Holidays today and I owe it all to G.A. I became teachable, I learned to listen, I followed suggestions and now life is good. Just that simple. Thank you G.A. ........Happy Holidays Everyone. Love, Jan A., Las Vegas

Remembering makes me all the more grateful THIS year! When I was gambling, taking time to go and shop for the family was an inconvenience. To STOP and shop took time away from my gambling. And the hardest part was spending the money for the gifts.