CHAT ROOM:    If anyone is interested in entering the chat room to share some therapy or talk to other female gamblers, please check out the room when you have time and make arrangements with anyone in there to meet on a certain day at a definite time.  It seems like we're having a problem coordinating times for chats.  You can list a time that's good for you, on the 'guestbook remarks' and we'll join you.

Gripped by Gambling  is the title of my book and it should be ready for sale during the month of March.   I have mailed copies of my manuscript to a few people I've met through my recovery and here are three reviews they have written for me:

Gripped by Gambling hits like a ferocious summer monsoon storm as Lancelot's life spins off its axis and scatters like dry leaves. It's a tight and often painful read, written by a woman of courage and integrity. Observe a recreational gambler, a grandmother, a loyal employee, fall into the abyss and climb out again. Lots of women don't make it out. She did and this book chronicles her path back to normal life after prison. ---- by James Bishop Jr., author of Epitaph for a Desert Anarchist, life and legacy of Edward Abbey.

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Gripped by Gambling captures the emotions of the female gambler and weaves the progression of the gambling disease with Marilyn’s life story. It is an easy-to-read, descriptive story of the addiction to gambling and continues on through years of a productive life of recovery. ---- by Mike Brubaker of Michael Brubaker Consulting, and co-author of Deadly Odds, The Compulsion to Gamble.

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Gripped by Gambling is a well written and a graphic description of the decline and fall of the problem gambler. It should be required reading for anyone whose gambling is more than a passing whim. ---- by Julian Taber, Ph.D., author of In The Shadow of Chance, the Pathological Gambler.

Marilyn Lancelot , AZ   
 

 

        WHAT TO TELL YOUR CHILDREN ABOUT YOU OR YOUR

                      FAMILY MEMBER'S PROBLEM GAMBLING.

If someone you love gambles too much, or if you do yourself, and you're dealing with this issues in your family, your children are too.  Many people believe children don't know when there is a problem like this.  They do!!  They may not understand the problem, but they know there is one.  Hopefully, this article will help you to talk to your children about this "hidden" addiction in a way that will help them understand, and therefore cope, in a more productive way.

The first step is to talk to your children in simple terms about what is happening in the family.  For example:  Mom/dad has a problem with gambling and has not been able to get control over it.  If you feel you cannot do this, go to a GAMANON or GA meeting and ask for guidance there; or go to a knowledgeable counselor for help with this step.

Depending on the age and grade of your children, they may have already had some school education about drugs and alcohol addictions.  You can make the connection to problem gambling, describing that sometimes a substance does not have to be taken internally for someone to develop destructive behaviors.  You can also tell the children that people who develop problems such as problem gambling don't stop loving their families; they simply are unable to control a destructive behavior without getting help.

There are three simple steps for you to keep in mind:

Reassure your children that this is not their fault.  No one knows exactly why some people become problem gamblers and others do not.  But children have never been the cause!

Educate your children about addictions.

Support your children in having as much information as he/she wants.  Call a professional if you feel you cannot answer or don't know answers to the questions that are asked.

It is hard to talk openly to children about painful subjects, but in the end very beneficial for them, and for you as parents.  Knowledge is power, and the more they know, the more they will be able to deal with the emotions that they experience in dealing with the problem in the family.  Hiding things from children never seems to work, though often it seems the most comfortable for the adults.

And, lastly, remember, you do not have to do this alone.  GAMANON, GA, and gambling counselors can all help you make decisions about what to say and when, and guide you and the children, if needed, through this process.  

                            

   MILESTONES OR MILLSTONES?  PLAN AHEAD!

Early in my recovery, I heard other GA members talk about their abstinence. Some spoke of seconds, minutes or hours; others spoke of days, months or years. At each meeting, milestones were acknowledged and a keychain or medallion or pin was presented to the proud recipient.

Although it seemed helpful to have a milestone to work toward, I began to notice how many members referred to their milestones in a different way. They’d say, “I made it to ‘X’ days and then I relapsed,” or “I celebrated my 1st anniversary with a few weeks of gambling” or “After ‘Y’ years in the program, I stopped coming to meetings and went back out.” Milestones, apparently, could also be millstones.

I’m grateful to those members who shared their difficult experiences. They showed me that, to stay in recovery, I would need to look beyond the next “mile marker.”

Three weeks into GA membership I thought, what can I do to connect myself to the program beyond my first 30 days? I joined a weekend Step Meeting. The group was already on Step 2 but that didn’t deter me. I started writing and my journey through the steps began. It’s a journey I continue today.

About 45 days into the program I thought, what can I do to connect myself beyond the 60-day mark? I got a Sponsor and became accountable for my actions. Beyond 90 days? I attended a mini-conference and two addiction seminars. Beyond 6 months? I became room secretary of my home group. Beyond 9 months? I volunteered to take the minutes at Intergroup and began handling hotline calls. As my one year anniversary approached, I thought, what now? I scheduled myself to speak at a Speaker’s Meeting a couple of weeks after the anniversary. That commitment has become a yearly tradition for me and one of the cornerstones of my recovery.

My plan is simple. It works for me if I work it. As each milestone approaches, I commit to a specific action or service that will keep me connected to the program beyond the day itself. I make myself accountable by telling others of my intentions. And then, I just follow through.

Pam K., Arizona
 

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