BROKEN
GLASS
My name is Shirley S., a recovering compulsive gambler who first came into the program in May of l974. Frightened and confused, I did not believe I could stop gambling. I was addicted to cards and the card clubs, and my problem became progressively worse.
My husband told me I had a problem, and he found the Gamblers Anonymous program for me. At my first meeting I was the only woman in a room filled with 20 men. I felt intimidated, and some of them said a woman couldn't make it. I wanted to prove them wrong, and I stayed for 4½ years without a bet.
I know today that I never surrendered to the program and didn’t work the steps. I went back to gambling for 6 months when I was sick and tired of my life. The day came when I felt that even if I had to crawl over broken glass to get back to the meetings, I was ready to work the steps and surrender.
- I have not had a desire to return to gambling since August 8, l98l almost l8 years ago. I am grateful for my GA program and the serenity I have on a daily basis, and I owe my recovery to my higher power and the l2 steps of GA. My world is better today, thanks to all who have helped me along the way.-------- Shirley S., Tennessee
THE
UNITY CIRCLEThe 12 Recovery Steps are "How it works" and the 12 Unity Steps are "Why it works." Step One of the Unity program tells us, "Our common welfare should come first; personal recovery depends upon group unity." We know that we as individuals will do well if the group survives, and focus more on group success than personal gain. Each one of us is but a link in the recovery chain, and our strength comes from unity. Inside each circle of GA members is a smaller circle of women.
Because of the closeness amongst the women, we feel sad when one of our members is in pain, and we share the joy when our sisters are doing well. We try to avoid gossip because we know it weakens the structure of our program. We may not be in total agreement with everything we hear or see, but we keep an open mind and understand that each of us works her program in her own way and we should respect each others’ efforts.
Unity is the most cherished quality of our program; it’s the arrangement of parts into a whole. Each one of us contributes to the whole with recovery as our main goal. We came to the program with an addiction bondage and discovered a healthy bonding between the members, particularly the women. When women share, we feel a positive energy and then pass our strength on to newcomers; thus the continuity of the circle becomes complete.
- Bonding takes place in the rooms and through phone calls. We have found a safe place where we are no longer victims of our addiction — a place where we are not judged or misunderstood. Women understand women, and we choose female sponsors whenever possible. We teach and support each with recovery as our purpose. Our rewards are: the right to choose, the ability to set boundaries, discovery of our true identities, and creation of a healthy self-image. ------Marilyn Lancelot
A LETTER FROM AUSTRALIA: Hello to all the GA members in America. My name is Helen and I'm a Compulsive Gambler; I live in Darwin, Australia. I have been invited to write something for your newsletter by a lady in America who has sponsored me over the Internet. My gambling goes back a long way, and I guess I first started gambling around 20 years of age. My husband and I used to go to the races tracks together, and when we divorced I started going on my own. When the first casino in Adelaide opened in 1985, I really fell in love with gambling. I spent most days and nights gambling there in the poker rooms with men. I started losing all my salary, then I lost my house. I pawned my car and whatever other items of value I could get my hands on. I tried to stop and made countless promises to myself and my family. When I finally realized that it was impossible to stop on my own, I went to a GA meeting around 1987. One of the old timers there told me he didn't think I was ready to give up; I was insulted and thought "I will show this pack of losers." Well, for the next 12 years I lived a miserable existence and nearly died in the process of trying to prove that I could gamble like a normal person. I lost my good career I had in the Public Service and decided I would travel — run away — and start a new life elsewhere. I traveled 1800 miles right up to the top of Australia and started a new life in the Darwin Casino. The progressive nature of my illness really set in, and I committed a crime to support my habit. Consequently, I spent 8 months in prison for fraud and thought the only thing left for me was suicide. Even after being released from prison in April 1998, I still continued to gamble. But this time the pain and remorse were greater than ever before. In January this year I purchased a computer and started looking up Gamblers Anonymous sites on the web and I can't remember how now, but a beautiful person in Phoenix connected with me, and since then my life has made a real turn around.
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 SPIRITUALITY AND RECOVERYAt a recent conference in Detroit, I had the wonderful experience of hearing Reverend Leo Booth, an Episcopal priest, speak on the difference between spirituality and religion in the process of healing. He dares to suggest something twelve step programs profess: you can live without religion, but you only exist without the awareness of Spirituality. Spirituality is the way out of our isolation. It is the way out of our prison. It is the key that opens the door to ourselves. It is THAT WHICH ENABLES AND DEVELOPS POSITIVE AND CREATIVE FORCES IN A HUMAN BEING. People ask, "How do I get it? How do I bring spirituality into my life? Is there a teach-yourself book?"These questions miss the essential point about spirituality: spirituality has already been given. You and I have it. We are spiritual creatures and the emphasis should not be on getting it or obtaining it but on discovering it within ourselves. Unlocking our spirituality for many begins when we dare to be honest with ourselves. It is good for family and friends to accept that we are recovering compulsive gamblers. But it is essential for us to know and accept it and even to use the disease in our life to guide our healing. Learning to be responsible for that part of us that is diseased, that is spirituality. For to confront what is sick and unhealthy, gives us the opportunity to discover what needs to be done for our recovery. In the acceptance of our disease are the seeds of wellness! Spirituality is knowing that we have the power to change, recognizing the force for good and wholeness in the universe and coming to believe that through the miracle of creative effort negatives can be turned into positives. Denial becomes acceptance; depression turns to hope; manipulation becomes straightforwardness; guilt gives way to forgiveness; shame melts into freedom and at last boredom is banished by the joy in living we never thought we deserved..................Paula B. Books by Father Leo Booth include The God Game: It’sYour Move and Spirituality and Recovery available at www.fatherleo.com |
- WIT AND WISDOM
- I may have had an unhappy childhood but I’m not a child anymore. ---------- Anonymous
- "Come to the edge," he said.
- They said, "We are afraid."
- "Come to the edge," he said.
- They came.
- He pushed them
- And they flew.
- -----------Guillaume Apollinaire