Joan is the author of  A Place Where Weeds and Roses Grow  and she will be doing a reading and signing event on June 27th at 6:00 pm  at the McNally Robinson Bookstore in Calgary - on the Stephen Avenue Walk, 120 - 8th Ave SW. Everyone is invited!

 

~ A SEED OF HOPE ~

Hi… My name is Joan S. and I am a recovering compulsive gambler in Alberta Canada. By the grace of God, I have not placed a bet since June 30, 2000. Recovery is a beautiful thing!  It's good! It's good just to be alive! Thank you God! Thank you Gamblers Anonymous! Thank you Prayer Group!

Gambling nearly destroyed me. Like a thief in the night it stole away my 12-year marriage, countless thousands of dollars, my integrity, sanity and dignity. It is no small miracle that I survived at all. The gambling addiction is ruthless… it knows no boundaries… it is cruel and relentless and its sole purpose is to destroy. I’ve never known such evil. Be assured that the devil is dancing nearby, wherever there is a gambler out of control.

I had an assortment of issues going on at the time I pressed my first “spin” button on a VLT (video lottery terminal) machine. It was the perfect escape from my unpleasant reality… my relief was immediate and intoxicating… pretty colors and shapes, spinning, spinning… I could crawl right into the screen of my gambling machine and just forget… And then my life was spinning, spinning – until every fiber of my being was spinning out of control. I began to lie and steal. Just “minor” stuff at first. But as my addiction grew progressively worse, so too did my dirty deeds… Before I knew it, I had crossed the line into committing serious crimes to support my gambling habit.
 

My marriage was falling apart, sleep had all but deserted me, I was drowning in debt, and my family and friends had become like virtual strangers. I felt wretched and crazy. My every thought was entangled around gambling. I was on a merry-go-round of madness that would just not stop. And then it did.
 

Suicide. I planned out every little detail, growing more and more elated with the thought of escaping my misery once and for all. But my Higher Power had another plan, and as I began to pray like I’d never prayed before, I literally felt the hand of God reach down and alter the course of my destiny. I opened my heart to Him that fateful day and he ever so gently reached in and planted a seed of hope… He then extended his hand to me and as I took hold, I knew in my soul that addiction’s reign had ended.
 

God led me to The Door the following day - July 1, 2000 – and it was there on the other side that I found his Amazing Grace… a room full of broken people just like me, compulsive gamblers, who so graciously welcomed me and offered me hope for a new life… a life without gambling! Hallelujah!
 

Life is hard… Addiction sucks… But God is good. And so is Recovery. It is yours for the taking… just reach out and grab hold. If I can do it – SO CAN YOU! It is not easy, but it is so worth it.
 

Find a support group and start climbing those twelve blessed steps. I guarantee that if you put in the effort, you will indeed find freedom from your addiction. God is on your side. And so are countless other recovering compulsive gamblers who understand your struggle… Make your last bet your last bet… seek help today.

Love & Prayers

Your sister in recovery… Joan S., Alberta, Canada

(Check out Joan's book in "Suggested Reading" at the left side of screen, and also in her publisher's online bookstore:

A Place Where Weeds and Roses Grow

 

STEP 11 ~~~ Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out.
 

Step 11 of GA’s Recovery Program is a mouthful! Break it down to the essentials, though, and is so very simple. Our aims in this Step are: (1) to improve our conscious contact with the God of our understanding; (2) to gain knowledge of that Power’s will for us, and: (3) to gain the necessary power to carry out the will of our Higher Power.
 

What is conscious contact? What it is not is accidental – the occasional “God-shot” that we experience, where God flips the switch on that light-bulb above our heads and teaches us something important or answers a troubling question. We seek conscious contact. We consciously nurture contact with our Higher Power. An improvement in our conscious contact with God consists of a greater quantity of time in contact with God and a higher quality of contact, more meaningful. And time spent listening as well as “talking”! Listening with our spirit, rather than our ears. Theoretically , we would reach a point of constant two-way communication with the God of our understanding.
 

Is this possible? I doubt it; and I know that I’ve never come anywhere close to it. But we’ve all heard of people who seemed to progress towards it. St. Francis. Mohammed. Elijah. Mother Teresa. Moses. History is full of people who seemed to walk a crystal clear, floodlit path on a mission to carry out God’s will. We can emulate these people by improving our conscious contact with that Power greater than ourselves.
 

What tools or methods does Step 11 advise us to use to improve our conscious contact with God? Prayer and meditation. Prayer is our obvious “active” role in the two-way communication we want to cultivate. ‘Talking” to God. But a two-way conversation consists of listening, as well as talking. When we meditate, we strive to provide a clear – not empty! – mind with which God can communicate. We need to brush aside the clutter of everyday concerns and happenings that typically occupy our conscious minds. In practicing Step 11, we give ourselves a greater chance to gain the benefits of God’s knowledge of how we can best live our lives.
May the God of your understanding bless and keep you and yours.

Betty C., Arizona                                               

Gripped by Gambling.  

I have a new website   www.grippedbygambling.com  with information about my book.  The site contains an autobiography with some photos of special times in my life.  The book is available at Wheatmark.com/bookstore or call 1-888-934-0888 x3,  Amazon.com,  Borders.com, BarnesandNoble.com,  BooksAMillion.com, etc. It can be ordered by the title, author or Isbn # 978-1-58736-770-0. Gifts Anon stores in Phoenix and Scottsdale are stocking  the book. Marilyn Lancelot , AZ    mslancelot@cox.net  

                           

The Gift of Self Exclusion

I prayed. I read my bible. I looked to the Lord, please Lord help me make the right choices. Please Lord, help me stay out of the casino. My prayers went unanswered for many years.

I am from Philadelphia. Atlantic City casinos opened some 29 years ago and I was right there on the opening day. I loved it! $70 in my pocket from my husband a day out with my mother and girlfriend, we played for a few hours, lost our money but I was enchanted by this new lover in my life. What a place! Lights, action, people having fun, slot machines, black jack tables, what an adventure! Little did I know on that day the casino would wrap around my throat like the biggest cobra found in the Condos and choke me. Little did I know it would eventually own my soul, my heart, and my mind. How could I know I was on the path that would lead to self destruction.

As an accountant, I made and lost over one million dollars over the last 30 years. I worked hard and the harder I worked, the more money I made, but it didn’t matter. It all went to the casino. And ironically I never cared. I am living proof this addiction is progressive. Twenty years ago I wouldn’t go to the casino without $100 in my pocket. It increased to $300, to $500 and finally I wouldn’t consider entering a casino without $1000. My logic? You need that much. Scared money never wins. Need a bankroll to hit the big one.

And at home that night, I’d be counting change to buy cigarettes or looking for $5 to put gas in the car. I prayed, Dear Lord, keep me out of the casino. Please God help me stay away. I read my bible. I even tried therapy. Tried GA. Nothing helped, therapists, prayers, GA, reaching out to others, nothing. I was doomed to a life of misery. I decided I needed to leave PA and start a new life.

In 2006 I moved to Arizona. What a wonderful place! New and exciting! After 30 years in public accounting I had five job offers, money still great, life is good! No one told me that the casinos were so close, I could throw a rock and break a casino window. Where I lived before it was a 3 hour drive. Now it’s on the way home from work. And did my life change. Here on my own without family, friends, no one to borrow money from when I screwed up, I fell deeper and deeper into debt and despair. Payday loans? What a wonderful concept! We didn’t have those load offices back east. Well no wonder 950% interest! Gamblers don’t care what it costs for the money, just give it to me quick. There was one day I was in and out of the casino five times, borrow $500; lose it, to another payday loan store, another $500, lose it, etc, until I was on the hook for $2500. At 950% interest. At one time I had nine payday loans. I don’t even want to describe what that did to my sleeping habits.

And in my despair, I still prayed. I still went to GA. I went to a therapist. And all the while, I gambled.

God sent the Gift. The Gift came from some Angel, I don't even know which Angel it was but definitely without any doubt in my mind God answered my prayers. The Gift was Self Exclusion. I won $3200 in the casino, and so happy to have won this, I stayed and lost it all in four hours. $3200 could have gotten me out of the payday loan mess. Could have paid my car off. I walked out, this time with a sickness in my stomach that I had reached a point of no return. The first time in 30 years I was physically ill from the loss.

And with the Angel's help, I was pointed to the Gaming Authority of Arizona. I filled the paper out on May 10, 2007. My exclusion ends May 10, 2017. I cannot go into an Arizona casino without being arrested if I’m caught. If I win jackpots, they will not be paid to me. I cannot enter their parking lots. The day after I self excluded my mind completely washed clean of gambling thoughts. In the short time I’ve stayed away from the casinos, I've been to the theater, I've been to two ballgames, I've been to the Cinco De Mayo celebration, and I’ve been shopping. Best of all, I now have money in my pocket when someone at work asks me to lunch, I don’t have to make excuses. I see a wonderful new life, I see happiness, I see peace. It is a miracle, nothing less. And a Gift.

Hopefully I have 30 years ahead of me to enjoy what I missed by making the casino my home. But if I don’t, each day now I cherish as a new beginning, I feel my life is a mirror of the Discovery Channel there is so much to learn and see and do, and I thank the Lord for the Gift.

Take the Gift. I am passing it on to you now. It is a blessed Gift I will never deny it came from above and my prayer today is that maybe one of you out there will put your hand out and take this Gift of Self Exclusion. Many blessings.
Yvonne, Scottsdale, Arizona         

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