Volume No. VI">
Volume No. VI, Issue
No. 3 March 2004 I want others to know what gambling can do to us, especially those like
me who have some time (10 years) in other programs and think that we have it
all together. Gambling is the hardest addiction I have worked with. The
others were easy compared to this one. I was a video poker player, and someone once told me it’s the "crack
cocaine of gambling." Now I know why. The GA Combo Book says "prison, insanity or death," but fails to mention
all the other stuff that happens on the way. As I write this, my husband and
I are having an open house this weekend to sell our house. Our 4-year
gambling spree has racked up tens of thousands of dollars in credit card
debt, my husband’s loss of 2 jobs, and the loss of my incredible babysitter.
We abused her by staying all night at casinos, coming home at 7 a.m. only
because we had to. We now have to sell our house because we took a 2nd mortgage
at 20% and lost those tens of thousands gambling. The few thousand
dollars of equity we’ll come out of the house with will have to go towards
paying off some of the debt we’ve created. We need money to move into a rented house—if we can find a landlord who
will take us, with our extremely bad credit. To finance the move, we’re
selling one of our cars that is nearly paid off. My marriage has fallen apart emotionally. Even though we were gambling
together, we seem to have very little in common now. You would think I would
be a nervous wreck, but I’m not. God willing, I will have 30 days clean tomorrow, not only from gambling
but from going back to smoking pot and cigarettes. I would have had 14 years
sober in AA and NA this year, but 4 years ago I chose to give all that up,
going on this gambling spree and picking up other addictions again. Having been out there for the past 4 years, I have to say, nothing
changes.... Except that I have a new addiction—gambling—that has cost me
my first house and my children’s home. Today, I haven’t gambled, and I feel great about that. I will be able to
sleep well tonight...........Dawn F., AZ SINCE MEDITATION PIQUED MY INTEREST by Sue Pinkerton Once my interest in meditation was piqued, I found myself
wanting to read about other people's experiences with meditation and
gambling recovery. I have continued searching for articles/authors on the
subject. I always was just a little obsessive. (*grin*) Personally, I found that conscious relaxation was
particularly helpful in dealing with the racing thoughts that began not long
after I entered recovery. I am not sure why the racing thoughts thing
happens for some people in the early days, but suspect that it may have
something to do with having spent many years NOT thinking; maybe our minds
need to 'catch up' and process what we've missed doing.... It may have
something to do with having been sleep deprived from too many hours spent
staring at a screen. Whatever the reason for the phenomenon, meditation
teaches people to slow down physically, emotionally and mentally. We can
learn to observe our habitual responses and thoughts, rather than react from
them. This Barbara Stanwyck classic is an oldie but a goodie. I enjoyed what
was around my 12th viewing of this film with WHW’s publisher,
Marilyn, who was seeing it for the first time. About every 5 minutes she
exclaimed, "They knew that back then!" "The Lady Gambles" opens as a back alley crap game suddenly breaks up
when some nondescript men burst upon the scene. The men in the game grab the
cash and run, while two thugs grab the lone woman at the scene and pummel
her with their fists. The hospital aftermath of the beating introduces the victim’s husband
pleading with an overworked doctor. The doctor reads the legal charges
hanging over the gambling lady’s head to her husband, displaying no sympathy
or concern. The anguished husband declares that she is sick and needs
medical treatment, not jail. His explanation provides the flashback that
encompasses most of the film’s 99 minutes. Stanwyck’s character, Joan Boothe, accompanies her Chicago reporter
husband, David (played by Robert Preston), to Las Vegas where he has an
assignment on Boulder Dam. A seemingly harmless situation brings Joan to the
attention of the hotel/casino’s owner, a handsome, charming and cynical
professional gambler. Stephen McNally’s Corrigan is that sinister, but
alluring, guy our mothers forbad us to have anything to do with. Corrigan invites Joan to gamble—something she has never done—with house
chips, saying she’ll be an effective shill. Unfortunately, she is useful in
this role, and Corrigan continues to supply her with chips. She immediately
becomes hooked, and most of us know the progression of pathological
gambling. Marilyn and I both keyed on the amazing insights into the disorder
this 55-year-old film displays. Roy Huggins and Halsted Welles based their screenplay on a story by Lewis
Meltzer and Oscar Saul. Director, Michael Gordon, effectively telescopes
Joan’s breakneck rush to self-destruction, covering less than 2 years, into
the film’s time frame. The principals in the film’s production must have had
an intimate knowledge of the realities of compulsive gambling. Joan’s behavior runs the gamut of the classic gambling addict: denial,
stealing, lying, rationalizing, promise breaking, and the rest. She hocks
everything available to chase her losses, including her wedding ring. She
describes an experience that could only be an episode of dissociation.
Stanwyck’s gambling frenzy scenes are sickeningly realistic. On more than one occasion, Corrigan contemptuously tells Joan that she
deliberately punishes herself and seems to enjoy it. While she reluctantly
concedes his point, it doesn’t help her stop gambling. Edith Barrett gives a chilling performance as Joan’s sister, Ruth, 8
years senior. The sisters have shared a longstanding co-dependant
relationship. Preston’s performance as the loving, understanding, perceptive husband is
convincing in its context. It would be wonderful if David’s reaction to his
wife’s gambling addiction were typical.
STEP SEVEN - HUMILTY
In this Step of GA’s Recovery Program, we humbly ask our
higher power to remove the character defects our 4th Step
inventory unearthed. And maybe a few Step 5 brought to light too! Humility (humbleness) is one of those "highest and finest
qualities" Page 1 of the Combo Book says "the word spiritual can be said to
describe." I discussed humility, a quality we hope to acquire as we work the
steps, in the April 2000 issue of WHW. So ... we simply ask humbly to have our character defects
removed. Piece ‘a’ cake! Can ‘a’ corn! Nothing to it, right? I can only
speak from personal experience, but the removal of some character
defects has been anything but easy for me! And I’ve designated a
supernatural being that I choose to call God as my Higher Power. I suspect
that people who opt for the Fellowship or some other non-supernatural higher
power face a similar challenge. I firmly believe that a compulsive gambler seeking
recovery can work the Recovery Steps when she chooses a higher power
other than a God of her understanding. But in Step 7, she won’t receive any
supernatural assistance. I believe the assistance she requests would consist
of guidance, feedback, suggestions for strategies and the like, and
support. And a group of people whose wisdom she respects enough to
designate them, collectively, as her higher power would be able to provide
valuable help in working this important step. Speaking from my personal experience, my Higher Power
has simply ‘removed’ some of my most destructive character defects, most
notably those that injured other people as well as me. Others I’ve had to
work and work on. Some have become less and less prominent as time has
passed. Others seem to have been removed, but experience has taught me that
they wait in the wings to make ‘guest appearances’ if I become complacent
or, worse yet, let myself get ‘puffed up’ about having eradicated an
irritating defect! Some of my character defects are still alive and well!
And I’m pretty sure that I have a big enough supply to not risk running out
in this lifetime. I’ve been ‘stubborn’ about some character defects.
They represent my ‘comfort zone,’ and we humans like to stay in our comfort
zones—no matter how uncomfortable life in the zone is!
