When I first walked into a casino, my personal life was full of stress. Within a couple of months I was ‘zoning out,' running from the stress of my life by feeding a slot machine. Six months after putting my first quarter into a machine I had progressed to losing a thousand dollars of plastic money a night. I can almost laugh now as I think of the stress I added to my life by going to the casino. Physically, I added the stress of no food or drinks for hours on end, lack of sleep, and the anxiety of shuffling credit card limits. Emotionally, I left the casino crying all the way home, pounding the steering wheel and telling myself what a rotten, stupid person I was. Guilt consumed me. Spiritually, I was almost dead inside.

Then 5 ½ years ago I found Gamblers Anonymous. For 2 ½ years I ‘white-knuckled it,' attaining periods of abstinence from 5 to 11 months, but gaining no recovery. I went to only one GA meeting each week. Between meetings I felt like a pressure cooker ready to explode. When I could no longer take the pressure, I returned to my old way of coping—anesthetizing at the casino—thinking it would help relieve the stress. I had changed nothing in my life or myself. I had learned no tools to help deal with the stress in my life.

Finally, with the help of sisters and brothers in the program, my Higher Power and my therapist, I learned I deserved better than what I was accepting in my life. I started following the principles of the program and living ‘One Day at a Time.' Instead of waiting for the pressure cooker to blow, I vented a little pressure regularly by calling people, meeting for coffee and going to extra meetings. As my recovery continued I removed some of the stressors by making life changes and character changes.

More importantly, I learned I could choose not to let many of life's challenges become stressful. My old self took a situation and quickly turned it into a catastrophe. My ‘new' self learned not to react, but rather to accept, to let go, to go on. I know now that when stress comes into my life I have to live life on life's terms and deal with it. I no longer blow events into major stress. I am pro-active rather than reactive.

Before I began abstaining from gambling and our family—3 teenage boys and their single mom—began a program of recovery, we used to live each day going from one catastrophic, stressful event to the next. Now, we live a healthier life, working our program together, taking each day, each hour, and sometimes each moment as it comes and making the best of it. What a beautiful opportunity we have to choose to live a more serene life by accepting rather than projecting, by acting rather than reacting, by living not by fatalistic ‘what ifs' but rather by ‘and so it is.' ........................................Love, Your Sister, Betty M., AZ

Worry and stress foster loneliness and can destroy the quality of our lives. When something upsets us, we feel powerless and the stress can affect our mental and physical health. Our program tells us to look at the situation honestly, and Step 3 tells us "to turn our will and our lives over to the care of this Power of our own understanding." This includes our worries. But it's not as easy as it may sound.

Letting go of problems involves a process. Before we can begin the process of letting go, we must believe that worry and stress constitute a problem. Then we need to have a desire to stop worrying and be willing to change.

Having a talk with our sponsor or chatting with a close friend can be the beginning of examining the issue from a different viewpoint. We might even discover that the worry of the moment isn't our problem. We may even decide that we already have the answer. The process of examination takes time, patience and trust.

Some of us may have problems which require medical treatment, and we shouldn't hesitate to make a doctor's appointment if that's the case. Internalizing stress can threaten us in many ways: dizzy spells, a racing pulse or sweaty palms, back or neck pains, headaches or anxiety, insomnia, and other problems. Sometimes death. Problems don't disappear just by speaking the words, "let go" or by pretending it's not happening.

Having someone ridicule us or tell us to "stop worrying" doesn't help. But we can learn ways to work through the issues.

Many times the stressor is not the issue confronting us, but rather our perception or reaction to the problem. And not all stress is bad. Good stress can be a motivator, but too much analyzing of any issue will keep the problem a problem. We may not even be aware of the stress or tension until we feel the tightening of our muscles or the beginning of a headache. Let your body be an indicator to take a stress inventory.

When we decide to take action on our issues, we can begin to make changes. We will learn to set up healthy boundaries and choose realistic goals. We will know our limitations.

When we gambled, our emotions were in such turmoil that we ignored our biological needs. Logic couldn't control our desires or our emotions. Today we can't go back to gambling to escape worry, but with careful planning and work, we can find ways to reduce stress. After we change our behavior, our rewards will include the removal of resentments; we will have fewer fears, and self-pity will be replaced by self-esteem.

But first, we have to be willing to learn ways to change our thinking. Breathing exercises, believing in and using the Serenity Prayer, taking a walk, calling a friend, or finding a quiet place to rest all may help reduce stress. When time and circumstances permit, we may try aroma therapy, a massage, a leisurely bath, meditation, listening to motivational tapes....

Finally, for long term assistance, we apply 12-step knowledge, perhaps take Yoga classes, seek counseling.... And we visit our doctor when necessary. If we practice these suggestions we can live a less stressful life....... Marilyn L., AZ