Volume No. V, Issue No. 9                                       September 2003

I have been a compulsive gambler for nearly 10 years and have tried GA and private therapy; neither has worked very well for several reasons. The first time I went to a GA meeting was about 7 years ago.

When I first walked in, I was told that the meeting for wives of problem gamblers was in another building. I said, "No, I'm the problem gambler," and the host of the meeting looked at me in disbelief. I guess, at the time, it was inconceivable to them that a woman could have a gambling problem. I was the only woman there and didn't feel welcome at the meeting.

Though the issue of money never came up, most of the men probably thought I hadn't lost enough to qualify. Actually, reading the look on their faces, I imagined, "A broad, what did you lose, a hundred bucks?" I went back 3 or 4 times but knew it wasn't going to work for me because I am an agnostic.

I had a hard time turning this over to God, when I am not sure I even believe in God. I was raised in a very nonreligious household, and my Dad, one of the finest and most honorable people I ever knew, was an atheist.

I truly wanted to stop gambling because I knew it was destroying my life, so I tried private therapy. Unfortunately, no therapists familiar with gambling addictions were available, so I went to an excellent therapist who specialized in alcohol and drug addiction. I knew during therapy that it wasn't going to work either. She did help me work out some other issues but couldn't seem to reach me when it came to gambling.

I only got my computer about a year ago, so I did not have access to the internet at that time. I would go to the library and read anything I could get my hands on about compulsive gambling. Nearly all of the material referred to men; it was like compulsive female gamblers didn't exist. I sent away for videos on the subject, but there really wasn't much out there.

Not many of my friends were gamblers; besides, when I gambled I preferred to play alone. If I was winning I could stay as long as I wanted, and if I was losing, no one would be watching to see how much I lost.

The perception is that men go after competitive games such as craps and blackjack, and the majority of women feed slot machines. This scenario is not what I saw at all, and my gambling problem was never slot machines. I played competitive card games, and 30% of the people at these table games were women. My best friend is a dealer at a small local casino and also has a gambling problem.

Years ago, at a casino where the host had become friendly with me and my dealer friend, he let us in on a little secret. He told us that the casinos literally pander to women in their 40s, the market they were catering to. Empty nest syndrome?

I agree that the majority of people who gamble do not become pathological or compulsive gamblers, although I believe the "official" estimates are skewed downwards. I also believe the gambling industry deliberately targets certain vulnerable demographic groups.

I think it is important for women to become aware that, in spite of how friendly and accommodating the staff at casinos may be, these people are not your "friends." It took therapy for me to realize that they are there to make you comfortable and happy, and to separate you from your money.                   Lecor C., Washington State

 

   AMBIVALENCE NO MORE,   Part 2 of 2

  In last month's WHW, Sue explained the conflicts within her life that led to her gambling and complicated her recovery.

Assuredly, recovery for me has been a good thing ... go back to gambling? To all that confusion and ambivalence? As I heard someone say in a movie once, "Not bally likely, papa san!" Life is good—too good to go back.
Last night, I was discussing (and then reflecting on) my progress since I first entered recovery back in Feb ‘99. I began by adding up what my life appears to be about and in doing so, I found something amusing. Three and a half years ago, when I entered recovery, I had a marriage of 19 years; a husband I cared about and who, I believed, loved me; children who were (mostly) emotionally secure; and a family life that nurtured those children (for the most part).

I lived in rented accommodation and worked full time night duty to help pay the bills and yet had plenty of leisure time in which to do nothing much but relax. "Our" debts totaled $30,000. I had many friends and acquaintances who dropped by to say hi.

Today, I have no marriage; no lover/significant other to love or be loved by; and no family life to speak of. My children live in 3 separate houses (1 with me, 1 with my ex, and 1 on her own). I live in rented accommodation; my good friends number just 3; I work full time night duty to pay my bills; my leisure time is taken up by counseling study; my debts now total $170,000 (building a new home is SO expensive); and I have half the income I had at my disposal before.

When comparing then and now, it doesn't sound like I've made any progress at all does it? The "progress and healthy life style" balance sheet seems to come down firmly in favour of my life 3 years ago. But there is one HUGE difference between then and now: Then I was gambling "because" (so I've often declared) I hated me, my work and my life and resented having been given the greater burden of responsibility for getting everything done; now, I no longer gamble, I like my own company, enjoy my work and love my life - AND I accept 100% responsibility for myself and my life as it is.

On the outside my situation today looks bleak—in many ways a worse mess than what I had 3 years ago. I started to laugh as I pondered these contrasting circumstances, because I had forgotten for a moment about the changes that I have made on the inside.

The inside, where only I tend to notice the difference, is where the greatest progress has been made. Inside, I know peace, joy, love, acceptance and forgiveness, not to mention that I now have faith and hope in the future to turn out well—in accordance with God's plans.

I am a work in progress that's for sure. I just have to remember sometimes where to look to see the enormous changes and benefits that recovery has brought to my life.

                                                                                   .........Life is God...Sue. P., Adelaide, South Australia

Lori Rugle, Ph.D. specializes in treating and understanding compulsive gambling at

Trimeridian, Inc. in Indianapolis, IN

Much research today, funded by national organizations, is focusing on the neurobiology of addiction. The catch phrase is "addiction is a brain disease." This line of research has served to help "legitimize" the field of addiction. Research is showing that alcoholism, drug addiction and compulsive gambling—my particular area of focus—have genetic and biological bases. These addictions are not just self-centered, immoral, bad behavior.

If addiction is a brain disease, what is the brain? Basically, it is an organ like other organs in the body—heart, liver, kidneys.... The brain is made up of tissue, blood cells and nerve cells. This collection of nerve cells differentiates the brain from other organs. We can think of the brain as a bio-organic computer. Its nerve cells work through transmission of biochemical signals that create bio-electric impulses. The chemicals responsible for transmission of messages from one nerve cell to another are called neurotransmitters.

Three of the neurotransmitters most significant in addictive disorders are dopamine, serotonin, and norepinephrine. Dopamine and a system of nerve cells responsive to it have been identified as the primary reward system in the brain. This system appears to manage feelings of pleasure and satisfaction and also controls how we respond to reward and punishment. The dopamine system also affects memory and learning, since we tend to remember what is pleasurable or satisfying. We can trigger the system's actions over and over, trying to learn from what is rewarding or punishing or painful. Many addictive substances and activities directly impact on this system by mimicking the action of dopamine or increasing the release of dopamine into the nervous system.

Serotonin largely manages the emotional system. A lack of serotonin or of the ability of the nervous system to process this neurotransmitter contributes to depression, emotional instability and impulsive behavior.

The third neurotransmitter discussed here works on the arousal system. Norepinephrine is the "fight or flight" agent, managing alertness, attention, and responses to potentially dangerous, stressful, anxiety-provoking situations.

Scientific studies increasingly demonstrate differences between these major brain systems in individuals who develop addictive disorders and those who do not. Such differences have been shown to be, not simply a result of using toxic substances that can damage the brain but, genetically mediated differences that existed prior to the addiction and contribute to a person's higher risk for addiction.

Individuals who are more biologically at risk for addiction are likely to have a neurobiological basis for deficits in experiencing pleasure, reward and satisfaction. Additionally, they are more likely to be emotionally unstable and impulsive, or experience either over- or under-arousal.

Addictive substances and behaviors act in some ways to "fix" such neurobiological risk factors. However, the addictive "cure" only serves to intensify the problem, by further aggravating the underlying biological problems.

Taken alone, this discussion of addiction in relation to the biology of the brain probably seems disheartening. But the mind is a component of the addiction equation, as well, and next month I'll discuss tools for reducing our subservience to the brain's neurotransmitter systems........................................... Love and peace, Lori Rugle

 

Thanks to the reader in Wyandotte, MI for her contribution towards mailing costs.